Success Stories
Before You Tie the Knot
Video Transcript
Narrator: "In 1998, Florida passed the Marriage Preparation and Preservation Act. This was the first of its kind to provide an incentive for couples to receive marriage preparation. It was a response to the accelerating divorce rate in the state of Florida and the nation.
Dr. Millie Ferrer-Chancy: "Florida Cooperative Extension developed the marriage preparation curriculum based on the legislation. The curriculum includes such topics as communication skills, conflict management, financial responsibility, and parenting."
Narrator: "In Florida, couples completing an approved class receive a reduced price on the marriage license and a waiver of the required three-day waiting period."
Dr. Ferrer: "An important component of this process is that county faculty have helped in the development of the curriculum. The University of Florida is piloting the curriculum in several counties, both urban and rural. Donna Peacock of Hernando County is presently teaching the curriculum."
Extension agent Donna Peacock: "'Before You Tie the Knot' is a fun curriculum to teach. It's a good group of people because they're positive, they're in love, and their expectations for the future are great. It's a teachable moment because engaged couples really want their marriage to succeed. The variation of activities in Before You Tie the Knot also stimulates discussion."
Donna Peacock (leading class): "We each have a green 'yes' card and a red 'no' card. When I make a statement, you're going to decide if you agree or disagree with me, and then you're going to hold up your response. Now, no peeking until all the cards are up in the air!"
Donna Peacock (voiceover): "There are actually two objectives to the 'yes/no' game. One is obviously to have the couples compare how they feel about different issues, but the other is to introduce different subject matter that they may not have talked about fully, and so they go home with some ideas of some other things that they need to explore more completely."
Participant: "When we were asked who was going to handle the finances in the family, we both put up the 'yes' card, that we were both going to handle it because both of us are used to doing that and skilled at doing that. So we got a kick out of that, but of course we've learned that we can do this together."
Donna Peacock: "I think oftentimes when couples are dating, they stay away from any controversial subjects, because they don't want to have arguments. They don't want to have disagreements. And some of the questions that were brought up for discussion in 'Before You Tie the Knot' gives them the opportunity to really express the way they feel, sometimes on paper, sometimes in discussion, in the group."
Donna Peacock (leading class): "Now I would like couples to face each other. One of you should close your hand tightly, and your fiance must try to open that hand. Ok, go."
Donna Peacock: "The 'opening the fist' exercise is fun and they enjoy it, but what it's really trying to teach them is that your first reaction to a situation isn't necessarily the right one. The first reaction is to force it open. There are alternatives to conflict management. There is discussion about a conflict and working it out, working through the process."
Participant: "I think we learned a lot about ... even more about communicating, because sometimes maybe we'll interrupt each other too much and now I think we've learned a little bit about this, trying to relax a little bit and let the other person say their opinion."
Narrator: "Families and Consumer Science professionals with Cooperative Extension can have a great impact on marriage education. Just as the family is the foundation of society, the marital relationship is the foundation of the family. We hope the program 'Before You Tie the Knot' will help strengthen marriages, and this in turn can lead to stronger families and communities."
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